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Dec. 30th, 2011

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Детская мировая война

Originally posted by [info]scottishkot at Детская мировая война
То, чего опасался - свершилось под Новый год:

Общественное движение «Архнадзор» просит правительство Москвы остановить строительные работы в универмаге «Детский мир» на Лубянской площади. «Галс-Девелопмент», проводящий реконструкцию, утверждает, что в здании проводятся только работы, необходимые для его сохранения как памятника архитектуры.

Read more... )

Я хочу, говорил Михал Михалыч Ж., чтобы меня правильно поняли наверху: "Архнадзор" - общество реально хорошее и полезное, а строители - как часто бывает - вполне могут что-то мутить. При этом прочий материал для заметки никуда не девается - а напротив, аккумулируется.

То попадется статья архитекторов Варшавера и Селиванова из "Архитектуры СССР" за писят мохнатый год - "В 1957 году вступит в действие крупнейший в нашей стране универмаг "Детский мир" на площади Дзержинского". Где архитекторы Варшавер и Селиванов от проекта архитектора Душкина оставляют ушки да чушки: "Качество строительства могло бы быть значительно выше, если бы проектанты более требовательно отнеслись к своей работе..." А вот и про атриум, любезный "Архнадзору": "Перекрытие над залом сделано в уровне третьего этажа, в результате чего над залом образовался замкнутый "двор", способствующий образованию гигантского снегового мешка. Появился "колодец", аккумулирующий атмосферные осадки, которые", - пишут Варшавер и Селиванов, - "вызовут при эксплуатации здания отсыревание стен, выполненных в силикатном кирпиче".

То пару заключений нашего времени пришлют - заключений, сделанных на разные фирмы разными докторами-профессорами, но говорящие об одном и том же. Что этот самый двор-колодец - таки да, сё-сё, увлажнился до нитки. Что эти силикатные кирпичи в мокром месте кое-кому, кто их туда назначил, надо было бы обратно и запихать; да - жаль - не с нами уже этот кое-кто, вместе со впихоприемником. Что три вида кирпича в одной несущей стенке - силикатный, красный щелевой, красный полнотелый - это, некоторым образом, фэйспалм по нынешним требованиям безопасности (а как ты тронешь их, когда они в памятник охраняемый входят? А, э, так-то, дружок). Что, от всего от этого, стены в подвальном - аварийные, кладка внутренних несущих стен - в недопустимом.

Да, и масенькая деталь: надо монолит-плиту под общий фундамент подводить. Потому что "Детский мир" советский архитектор Душкин понастроил на месте царскаго Лубянского пассажа с сохранением - привет, защитники старой Москвы! - его конструктивных элементов. Место бойкое, торговое, но на семиэтажную дуру с многомиллионной пропускной способностью покойный пассаж рассчитан почему-то не был. Общий привет, говорят доктора-профессора. Спасибо за гонорар, не стойте под стрелой, удач в реставрации без реконструкции и регенерации.

То фоточка-другая перепадет - от тех, кто таки на объекте. Вот двор-колодец. Вот балка-мерзавка. Вот твои-мои трещинки - больше напоминающие вагину дентату в агрегатном состоянии hoochie-coochie.

Как пела группа "Черный кофе" (кто помнит, ну?) -

Деревянные церкви Руси,
Перекошены древние стены.
Подойди и на стены поссы -
И обвалятся древние стены.


Не говоря о том, что атриум, строго говоря - это помещение с естественным освещением. А отнюдь не нечто с жестяной крышей и лампами дневного света, придуманное архитектором Душкиным. А строители из "Галса" как раз обещают в новом "Детском мире" атриум-атриум. Что лично меня как раз несколько настораживает - в плане внешнего вида - и требует отдельного крупного разговора с производителями работ. О плите в фундамент, об атомном усилении стен и о том, что делать с этим трехсортовым кирпичным счастьем как таковым. Все это "Галс Девелопмент" как раз тоже обещают - со всем почтением к памятнику и его внешнему виду, - однако тут-то бы как раз и посмотреть за исполнением. Тому же "Архнадзору", который в этом деле петрит получше граждан типа меня.

Но - здесь мог бы быть капслок - без воплей "новодел!" ради воплей про новодел.

В конце концов, со времен гостиницы "Москва" мне - точнее, меня - несколько near bird, какие там кирпичи будут составлять стенку. И будут ли ее разбирать перед тем, как собрать ее снова. Важно, чтобы она была такой же, как в 82-м, когда отец меня в "Детский мир" поволок "фанту" разливную пить, первую в жизни. Чтобы ее - стенку - такой сделали, и чтобы она не падала. Все четыре, желательно. Прекрасно понимаю желание общественников ущучить стройконтору - но лучше на чем-то конкретном, и чтобы дело все же делалось. Уже сейчас.

Потому что сейчас и в тактической перспективе - тут мы переходим к резолютивной части марлезонского балета, ради которой танцы и затевались - Read more... )

Весело, здорово, красочно будет, если в честь очередной победы демократии на Лубянской площади навернется не какой-нибудь там Феликс, а целый "Детский мир", пусть и без людей. Не от стройки, а потому что ее не было. Сам по себе - от воды, от метро, от черта лысого.

Но лично мне такого кина и в кино хватает, знаете ли.

Oct. 13th, 2011

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(no subject)

Sometimes I miss the good old days. I know it's probably high time I grew up but I can't get used to it. The way it was on court or on the pitch - you were watched 24\7, every single step of yours was being watched by the coach's crew and they knew everything about you. My football coach for example knew how exactly I step on the grass and why I do it that particular way. He knew, when and where I would jump the next moment the ball comes. He wasn't a good man, we had lots of conflicts because of... well... different stuff. But he knew everything he should knew about me on that pitch. And he knew exactly what I needed. He always knew that if he doesn't stop me from overtraining, I'd just hurt myself oneday. So he always took time to remind me that of all team I'm the only one who should NOT go jogging on weekends, but should just lie down and relax in front of a TV. He knew that was the worst punishment for me anyway - just staying out of training.

My tennis coach on the other hand - was a good friend for me at all points of my life. He knew my character - he was all about that. He always did his best to know us better, because the way we acted off-courts was also something that affected our game. That's why before we started our practice he always found out if something had happened or how things were that week - he asked about school, family, work and other stuff that we had. And because he knew us sometimes even better then we did ourselves, he could easily see when we lie, or cheat, when we're hurt, afraid or uncertain about something. It's funny but even when we pretended we're hurt and when we were actually hurt - he knew exactly when we're lying and trying to just easily surrender or maybe show others sort of an excuse for a mistake or a bad game in general (that was usually my thing), and when we're really hurt, even though it was almost impossible to see the difference from aside. He'd say nothing if we were just pretending. He'd just ask: "Shoulder hurts?" - and then just nod. But wouldn't say anything. And when you got really injured he'd always see it and come up to you to suggest ending the game right now and going to see a doctor. When I fell down on coart or make a rough movement, he always knew why and what might these cause in the end.

This whole entry leads me to only one thought. When it comes to sport, you always need a person who would know you better than you do, who would know (which is incredibly important to such a crazy sport-workaholic freak as me) when to stop. It's truly great, when your coach thinks more of your abilities than he really should, but sometimes it's what makes it worse.

And now I know that it's not only us who's unattentive sometimes.

Oct. 12th, 2011

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(no subject)

We, athletes, do stupid things. To hide our fears or our issues, we do everything, we do really reckless stuff. A few days ago I fell down pretty tough... My spine benden like in a full ring or about so... I thought I'm gonna break my neck. But what did I do? I stood up and said: "I'm fine". I was really hurt. But not to concentrate on my failures, I made myself proceed. It was very painful, but I just did it.

Today I remembered how a few years ago I fell down and hurt my wrist and then played a whole tennis match with a hurt wrist. The way I did it... I broke my wrist while playing tennis - so I did it deliberately, I just broke my wrist. I couldn't stop myself. What if I did the same damn thing again?.. I need someone to be more responsible than I am. In pro-sport you have a whole lot of people running around you and watching every single thing you do. Now I have to do all these things myself, because... well... whatever...

Jul. 29th, 2011

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(no subject)

I'm back from the camp. It was extremely challenging, very hard, but a lot of fun. I met a lot of new people, I met very talented and qualified instructors and really had a lot of fun. I am awfully tired and I'm looking forward to coming back to my angola practices.

Jul. 12th, 2011

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{leaving to a boot camp}

I'm leaving first in the morning. For like 2 weeks. I keep positive though. Yesterday I realized how to keep myself going even there. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that we all stood there for like an hour (literally!) after our training not even knowing how to say goodbyes and finally leave. That's awesome... I'm saving this amazing atmosphere inside me and I'm sure I'm gonna be fine this way. I downloaded thousands of songs of capoeira to learn plus my favorite Olodum to my mp3-player.

I also took lots of videos with Capoeira Angola to keep learning useful stuff while not doing it myself. And I probably will make myself do some short training of angola whenever\if I have enough energy after our practices. I hope I'm gonna be fine.

This would have been a dream-trip if... well, no ifs allowed. We will probably do something like that next year too) That will be cool. So far I'll just concentrate on being as positive out of classes as I was in. I'm sure things will work out.

Jul. 10th, 2011

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{RusRuleti}

 It's been like only a few days and I'm already feeling fine. I don't know what has change, I don't know what was wrong before that is fine now... But I'm fine. It even turned out that my good friend will be there when I'll be having my vacations. That's kinda cool, that means I can go and just have fun without thinking about him. I am not thinking. At least I've been perfectly fine ever since. I guess it was just a shock to get such news but in the end - I don't care.

In a few days I'm going away to Ucraine to a... sort of a boot camp. Sports camp I mean. It will be my last event done with the federation and I want it to be done as soon as possible. I personally don't want to go. I used to want it - I thought, that might be kind of useful for me. But now I just don't want it. It will be really boring without the cultural side of capoeira. As far as I can't take my berimbau with me, I'm planning to take plenty of CDs with songs of capoeira that I don't know and learn those every day - like every spare moment I have. That way I won't regress with the music. After all... this federation doesn't have ANY music lessons or anything like that. They don't sing either. Whatever.

Another reason why I don't wanna go is that I have so many things to be done within these 2 days I have left, I'm not sure I can handle it. Though a good friend of mine keeps telling that I've got to relax and take a deep breath - this way I can manage to do everything I want. I hope so. So far it's work work work more work + write another 2 or 3 music tracks for my group, which I promised to do before I leave.
 
Did I tell you I'm going to sing? Yeah, right. This is a huge step up. Lately I've discovered, I'm a better singer than I used to be. I've been working really hard to progress with my voice. Capoeira also helped me with this. So now all I do is get more and more compliments about my singing. That makes me feel positive about my decision to start singing. I'm still pretty afraid of ruining the whole thing. Well, will see. It's still a russian roulette.
 
By the way, it's been two days that I lost a whole song somewhere. It was supposed to be a very important song. Which is called 'RusRuleti' (russian roulette in turkish). The point is that I gave the same name to a story I've written... the love story, whatever. It's a very long story. And a very beautiful song that I would have even put on the cover of my CD, if it's every happening. Because this is the name of a whole era of mine. It means a lot to me. But I can not find the damn paper sheet with its lyrics and chords. Is it a sign that this whole bald-head-guy/asshole story has to come to a complete end? Ok, the story is over. But why erase the memories?

Jul. 8th, 2011

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{I'm not crying for you, I'm crying for myself}

I am stronger than this. Yesterday I thought I'm almost there again - I could even have a sigarete. I stood near the window with the lighter and sigaretes, but I just couldn't do it... I can't start all over again just because of him. I mean, I've already been there. I started smoking and drinking 'because of him'. I did stupid things and excused it with him... Now I can do it the same. But I will hate myself for it. Because once I was a kid I could do that - I mean explaing everything with one single name.

But now I'm a little more than that. I grew up and I can't do that anymore. Even if I do that - I won't feel that way. I will know that if I start smoking or drinking or whatever again that will only be my fault, it won't be because of him - it will be because of me.

So what I did yesterday to blow off steam was like hundreds of push-ups on my fists till they got insensible. And finding balance on my headstand, which was by the way pretty successful - I realized you find balance only with location of your hands - I could even bend my back completely and still get the balance back on front. Sport is a great way to blow off steam. Probably I will have to do something like that on my vacations too - maybe jogging in the morning along the sea-shore... Will be fun, I guess.

It's time to define what I have for this man. And it is nothing. Yesterday I cried having one particular thought in my head by Asia Argento in her 'Boarding gate' - "I'm not crying for you, I'm crying for myself"- that's exactly how I felt. I didn't quite care about him getting engaged. I was just feeling pity for myself... Fuck the guy...
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{happy end}

 So it turned out everybody's got their own happy endings after all. Now what about mine?!!

Jul. 7th, 2011

dance_floor

{fucking life exams}

This might be some sort of exam. Do you know that when things get better on one 'field', they get worse on another. Capoeira helped me work on my voice and finally get the courage to go sing my own songs. Or at least tell about this decision to our guitarist. I never expected him to say 'yes' straight away and more - I could have never expected him to be so excited about this decision. He even was waiting for me to say that as he said and wanted to offer it himself. This is really great. This can actually change my whole life from now on and finally get our CheeseCake band going. Seriously!

But as cheerful I was, did my mood swing down in a flash... Why does everybody around fall in love and get engaged lately? Why even the most bachelor kind of all bachelors has suddenly got engaged? How is this even possible? I thought... It doesn't matter what I thought. Everybody falls in love. Everybody gets engaged. Everybody's got a couple. As for me? Well, I'm talented... Everybody says - wow, you do so many things, you have such an incredible and colorful life, you're so talented! You think it's fun? Do you REALLY think it's fun?

Maybe this is exactly why I do SO MANY THINGS at the same time. There would fucking be NO time for stupid tennis, there would be no time for damn music, design, art, languages, crappy gymnastics thing, fitness, card games, capoeira or any OTHER FUCKING THING if I had a shoulder to lean on. If I had someone next to me, I would have never had to stuff my schedule with all those STUPID things I do. These are no talents. I just have too much time and too much energy to spread - if I don't put this energy in something, I will definitely cut myself.

My life is nothing! My life is just ME and ME trying to cope with ME. THAT'S JUST IT!! You think it's colorful and exciting? It is. Because if I didn't have all this stuff, I would have hung myself by now. And now the last person I thought I might find the answers to all of my questions, or at least, if I surprisingly don't need it - just have fun together like we used to... He's engaged. I don't believe it. This just can't be happening.

Probably that is my exam. It's like with smoking. A few months ago I once took a sigarete just to watch if I still want it. I took two gasps and then threw it away. I didn't want it. So now it's the same. I thought I should cancel my vacations... or at least change the destination. But in stead I have to go there and prove myself that I have grown up and that I am completely over with it. Like just have normal vacations with NO expectaions and NO drama. Otherwise none of the things I do matters because it will mean I haven't changed at all since 2007 and that I'm not at least a little as strong as I thought I am.

Jul. 6th, 2011

smile

{my job and my life}

I used to think I'm gonna get really stressed-out because of the event that we totally fucked up yesterday. I even thought I might get this thing I used to have every once in a while, like a total melt-down, because of which I got into therapy... I never knew how to fight stress. But today I realized I don't care much... You know why? Because my job now is SUCH a small thing, comparing to the plans I have for my life, that I don't even have to bother. For as long as I work and get payed - it's good. And there's nothing else I want from this job. I don't have any plans of further work in PR, I don't even know much about PR anyway... So really, asking me about whether my music or my sport is more important to me than my work is kind of a stupid thing to do.

I mean of course it is! Music is the thing I want to do in my life. It's my education and my future occupation as I hope. It's the thing I'm inspired with, it's actually the most important thing in the whole world for me. My songs, my music, my group - everything. This is why I live, this is my thing... So... Yes. It's more important.

Is sport more important to me than my work? Yes, it is. Sport is the thing that keeps me going, sport is the thing that makes me better - it's discipline, it's health, spirit, strength... Have you known any musicians with no-smoking-no-drinking kind of life style? I haven't. Sport gives me balance and brings harmonia to my life. So... Yes. It's more important.

My job so far is just a thing that gives me money to pay for my college and my trainigs. I'm not planning to go ahead with this career or PR at all. I mean, If I'll suddenly have to go make burgers just to pay for my education - i WILL go and burgers.

So it seems to not bother me at all.

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